Most leaders push past their own emotions without ever slowing down long enough to ask, “What’s happening in my soul?” In this episode of Behind the Seal, Bill & Kristi Gaultiere—founders of Soul Shepherding and authors of Deeply Loved—share how empathy isn’t weakness; it’s oxygen for the soul.

In a conversation packed with insight and vulnerability, they unpack why emotions matter to God, how Jesus models empathy, and why healthy leaders must learn to receive empathy—not just give it. From spiritual formation to burnout prevention and the “4 A’s of Empathy,” this episode gives leaders permission to breathe again.

If you’ve ever felt pressure to be strong, keep moving, or “power through,” this conversation will meet you right where you are—and remind you that you are deeply loved by God.

About Bill & Kristi Gaultiere

Bill & Kristi Gaultiere are the co-founders of Soul Shepherding, a ministry dedicated to helping pastors, missionaries, and Christian leaders thrive in emotional and spiritual health. Together they lead the Soul Shepherding Institute, train spiritual directors and coaches, and host the Soul Talks podcast.
 

Bill is a psychologist and spiritual director; Kristi is a psychotherapist, spiritual director, and executive leader with a passion for emotional intelligence in Christian leadership. Their newest book, Deeply Loved, guides readers into experiencing Jesus’ empathy through Scripture, prayer, and community.

Their ministry has helped thousands of leaders learn to rest in Jesus’ easy yoke, receive God’s grace in deeper ways, and lead from a whole, healthy soul.

Additional Resources

·       ECFA.org/LeaderCare

·       Learn more about Soul Shepherding

·       Deeply Loved by Bill & Kristi Gaultiere

·       Soul Talks Podcast

·       Soul Shepherding Institute Retreats

·       Find a Soul Shepherding spiritual director or coach

If this conversation encouraged you, share it with a leader who needs a reminder that their soul matters.

💬 Comment below: Which of the 4 A’s of Empathy do you most want to grow in?

🎧 And don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more conversations on healthy leadership, emotional integrity, and caring for the souls of those who serve.

Timestamps

00:00 – Intro
01:21 – Michael welcomes Bill & Kristi
05:57 – Leaders’ inner life: why “under the hood” matters
08:22 – Kristi’s story: emotions, shame, and the healing power of empathy
12:00 – Why some Christians misunderstand empathy
15:00 – How emotions and thinking are meant to integrate
18:13 – Unconscious resistance: why leaders block empathy without realizing it
21:00 – Bill’s story: learning to feel after a lifetime of stuffing emotions
27:10 – Receiving empathy vs. rushing to solutions
32:09 – The 4 A’s of Empathy (Ask, Attune, Acknowledge, Affirm)
38:04 – Empathy prayer and connecting with Jesus’ emotions
45:19 – Empathy as oxygen for the soul
47:17 – Boundaries, burnout, and stewarding empathy
50:49 – We all need a safe place to process emotions

52:48 – Empathy + Truth + Responsibility = Growth
56:17 – Empathy Fatigue: How to set healthy boundaries with empathy

1:00:04 – A word of encouragement for weary leaders
1:04:35 – Outro